7 Reasons Why: I Hate Pokemon Go

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(Disclaimer: Opinion Article)

It is driving me absolutely insane.

A new craze has hit and, as always, everyone seems to be picking up on it.

But I have no idea why Pokemon Go has become so popular, absolutely no reason comes to mind why Chloe, 19, from Essex has gone from parties every weekend picking up guys with her best mates to wasting her time catching “weird animal things” that she never knew existed before.

This is one of the last things you’d here from me; I love Pokémon. I always have. I’ve been playing since I was a wee little one with my friend’s game boy colour which soon developed in to my very own Gameboy advance.

It was my goal to have everything Pokémon when I was younger. I purchased the monthly magazines, I played with the overly-priced plastic toys, and I even took pictures of my vast collection of Pikachu soft toys and cards.

In fact, I was ecstatic to hear that a game was finally going to be released that I could play on my phone. It was a dream come true.

But my dream was shattered when I saw the public’s reaction that came with the game.

After my anger started to build up, I realised I needed to vent and express my pain.

So here is a list of the particular things I truly despise about Pokémon go.

  1. No one ever played Pokémon before

Did Pokémon even exist before 2016? No one apart from a select few would know. But because of this, I was never “cool” for ever showing an interest in the franchise before.

In fact, like a lot of games, it was considered quite a geek thing to do. I have memories of bringing in Pokémon Pearl on my DS to school and I was not considered the most popular and, if anything, it probably made me unapproachable.

Now don’t go reading this thinking I had the saddest childhood ever. I had friends, trust me.

But the fact is, Pokémon was never cool.

And I loathe how people who had always followed trends before now make it okay. Who gave them the authority to decide whether something was acceptable or not.

Screw those guys.maxresdefault

This leads on to my next point.

  1. Players don’t know anything about it.

It thoroughly upsets me to see people play the game and catch “a fishy thingy” and suddenly consider themselves Pokémon trainers (wow, reading this back I sound so sad).

AT LEAST KNOW THE NAMES OF THE POKÉMON BEFORE YOU PLAY THE GAME.

Youtubers recently went out to ask the public whether something was a Pokémon or a piece of IKEA furniture and the results were quite disappointing, seriously shaking my head.

I’ve tested the app out with friends and they repeatedly ask me “What’s this Pokémon?”, “What’s a potion? Why would I need it”, “How come the Pokémon turns into a bigger one?”.

If you’re going to follow this pointless craze, at least know why you’re playing it.threw phone 1 (1)

Before I hit the person sitting next to me, I should move on to my next point.

  1. People are brain dead when they use it.

The term you have probably heard more often is “Zombies”.

I first thought that people were exaggerating when they described people as lifeless bodies wondering slowly while groaning but I can finally understand it.

I recently went to my local park where there happens to be a few Pokéstops and lures and the sight was astonishing.

So many people, at least 50, in this one small park all looking at their phones and not taking a single notice of each other trying to catch something they don’t even know of. The ones not gazing at their phones were looking at one another in utter disgust.

Another thing I noticed was that parents had brought their kids to this particular park so they could play Pokémon while their kids entertained themselves – some of them also with a phone in hand and others just trying to get their parents attention.13717478_1162189643801802_4396012540791044341_o

  1. Is the game even that great?

If you’ve ever played a typical Pokémon game before – usually named after some kind of stone – you’d know there was so much potential for the recent Pokémon Go.

Previous games see a much wider variety of battles where actual strategies can help you win.

There is no strategy in the modern battles. Is there any battling at all? It seems to be hit-your-opponent-until-they-die type of thing.

Console games also used to show wide interaction with characters within the story as well as other players in the real world.

While I know this mode is in development for the mobile version, they definitely should have considered this idea when the game was first released.

Thinking about it, it’s a shame that there isn’t a story at all.

I know they were probably thinking, this game is something to play while out and about – people don’t have time for a game that requires more effort than swiping your finger up the screen.

But, let’s face it, this list is all about the things that I hate about the app, not anyone else’s opinion and I think a plot would have been a great addition to the game.pokemon-omega-ruby-en-alpha-sapphire-1416266289

  1. Things need to be improved in the game but they’re not really doing that

I’ve had a few troubles already playing this game.

For starters, why the hell do I desperately need internet to play the game?

I mean, if I thought about it hard enough, I could probably come up with a few reasons why the game would need it.

However, I just wanna play the bloody game.

Pokémon Go has been released for a mere 4 weeks in my country. But, I have been out of the country for 3 of them meaning I’ve had a week of playing the game and 3 weeks of hearing everyone else play it.

I’m participating in this fad because I’m intrigued to see what first generation Pokémon are available. But, unfortunately for me, I am yet to see what Pokémon I can catch other than a Pidgey and a Ratata. All because I don’t have internet. What a nuisance.

Further on from this, when I travel long distances, I expect my hard work to have paid off and I want to see some decent Pokémon. If I see another Drowzee, I’m going to flip.

Dear Developers, you have over one hundred Pokémon to hide in this failing world. I know you don’t want people to catch them all but don’t make it so ridiculously hard.

The final thing that really grinds my gears is the eggs. I try so hard just to lay one egg. I cycle well over 5km just to see if it is another Pidgey with the app open in my pocket and I still find no joy.

I don’t know if this is a particular problem for me or if it is happening for anyone else but the fact of the matter is, I ain’t layin any eggs.

The more I think about it, the more I realise that the company that developed the app is probably under a lot of pressure from the rest of the world to make the app better.

But then I continue to think about it and realise that they also made a crap ton of money so I then feel less sorry for the pressure they have upon them.Untitled design

  1. People playing it are vulnerable

There have been a number of stories in the media about how Pokémon Go has affected people’s lives in random ways.

For starters a girl searching for water Pokémon near a stream ended up discovering something very different to a Magikarp. Instead, she found a dead body. Thanks to this app, she will forever think of that image whenever someone mentions a Pokéstop.

Somewhere else, a group of thieves used this game to their advantage and created lures to drag people to a certain area. Once people had arrived to catch some critters, the thieves would jump them and steal all of their stuff, not cool.

Innocent citizens are being dragged into situations they never would have dreamed of being involved in before.

The game has been known to cause such havoc that it has been banned in an entire country! Iran decided they had enough of this nonsense and overruled anyone wanting to play it.girl finds dead body

 

7. We have Proven that it was just a fad and died out quickly enough

This is where the true Pokemon fans are highlighted. The ones left playing it are the ones with a connection with the franchise previously, not those who found out their best mate was playing so thought they’d give it a go.

Why people who knew nothing about the game ever played it is beyond me!

I could rant on and on about the perils I, and others, face when playing this game. The fact that I’ve only had a week to play it shows how much of an impact it has made on me.

I think I’m being too harsh. I’m probably more upset that I find it harder to catch a Zubat than get through my exams.

However, after all my upsets, I can see that once I have finished writing this article, I will probably continue to play it.

Screw you.



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